


Strange Things That Happen In Tents

by defenestration_optional



Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bottom Frank Iero, Camping, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Romantic Fluff, Smut, Top Gerard Way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 04:41:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/defenestration_optional/pseuds/defenestration_optional
Summary: Bears. Homosexuality. Usually these two words are affiliated in a different way. But today folks, we’ve got the gay and the camping and the jokes all in one place, and it’s all proofread, too! Doesn’t that sound great? Well come one come all to this tragic affair!
Relationships: Frank Iero/Gerard Way
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4





	Strange Things That Happen In Tents

Gerard, his friend Ray, his brother Mikey, and his boyfriend Frank were going camping in the woods. He had never been camping. On the ride over, Frank told him about how he’ll see a bunch of bears and probably get eaten by one, not to mention all the snake bites he’ll get before that. Gerard said he’d fight off the bear with his big strong muscles. Frank just laughed, which Gerard didn’t know how to feel about. When they got there Ray did most of the setting up; he was always quite independently helpful. At one point Gerard and Frank kissed, which was promptly followed by a non-verbal reminder of Mikey’s abhorrence towards PDA of any sort concerning his brother. PDA? Maybe Partially-Private-DA? It was already sort of the evening, so they began their approximation of a meal: beans. Well, from a can, plus some carrots that someone had already chopped. They heated the beans over a campfire, the makings of which were there when they got there, but that’s not to say they didn’t have trouble actually starting the fire. Of course they also made s’mores. And burnt most of them. They talked about various concepts, ranging in abstraction and seriousness from politics to how much of your own body you’re able to eat. Mikey articulated that he did not want “what if you eat your own stomach” in his search history, so he would not be finding out anytime soon. Besides, you’d just die. Eventually they moved on to the inevitable ultimate topic of campfire conversation, ghost stories. All the classics of course. It got quite chilly and dark and he was a bit tired so Frank leaned against Gerard, who wrapped his arm around him, rubbing his arm in an attempt to make him warmer and wrapped his coat around him too. Ray was the one telling a story then, so Gerard and Mikey had an opportunity to make a sort of communicative eye contact. Mikey was making this very subtly disgusted face, and Gerard was getting slightly mad at him, so he turned to Frank, kissed him on the cheek, and looked back at Mikey who rolled his eyes. When he turned back though, Frank looked disappointed, if not sarcastically so, so Gerard kissed him again, on the lips this time, and for a while, but then Ray cleared his throat.  
“Is my tale not captivating?” He asked self-consciously, and almost seriously. They both muttered apologetically but awkwardly.  
“It’s amazing, Ray, please continue,” Gerard encouraged. Ray did. Frank and Gerard looked at each other again. Gerard shot a glance at Ray, then kissed Frank again, just once, and immediately pulled away from him entirely, looking around all nonchalant as Ray kept telling his story. Frank giggled a bit. Mikey was not expressing whether or not he had noticed. Ray finished his story eventually, and there were no more graham crackers with which to make s’mores, so they began to set up their sleeping bags in the tents.  
“Who gets Gerard?” Ray asked, chuckling to himself slightly.  
“You can have him,” Mikey said to Frank definitively. Frank smiled and squeezed Gerard’s arm, almost as if he might jump up and down like an excited little kid. He brought his sleeping bag into the tent that Gerard’s was already in. Ray and Mikey went in the other one together. Their tent was only like a foot away. They did have those pad things that you put under you sleeping bag to make it more like a mattress, so Frank and Gerard didn’t have to be completely encapsulated in their separate sleeping bags and do absolutely NO cuddling. They all said good night to each other and Gerard closed the zipper that was the door to their small tent.  
“The moon outlines you all nice,” Frank said when Gerard turned back to him. Gerard smiled, not knowing if Frank could tell. He took his shirt off. Frank already had. Frank just sort of looked at him. Gerard asked in a whisper what Frank was looking at him like that for. He said he didn’t know. Gerard leaned down over Frank so they were just about a few inches apart. After a moment, Frank sat up, closing the gap between them, and kissed Gerard all gross and open-mouth like. Gerard kissed him back like he had never done it before. God, did he love Frank. Frank, who kissed him like that, with his tongue against his bottom lip. Frank, who was on top of him now, his skinny little fingers slowly gracing every crevice of Gerard’s top half. Gerard broke the kiss, laughing (three times exactly) and Frank fell limp on his chest, but at such an angle that he could still look at Gerard.  
“You tired?” Gerard whispered.  
“No; the uh… the crickets,” Frank said, tracing the outline of Gerard’s collarbone. He did it almost impatiently, like he was waiting for something. Gerard muttered “okay, fine” and grabbed Frank by the wrists, flipping them over and kissing Frank again. He broke it and looked down at Frank, who was just grinning stupidly. Gerard felt Frank’s leg move upwards against his hip as if to warn that he might wrap his legs around Gerard’s waist. So Gerard kissed him again, sloppy because he nearly missed Frank’s mouth, but not sloppy because he had actually done it on purpose, and he kept doing it, moving lower and lower to Frank’s jawline and eventually his neck, leaving kisses or whatever they were. Frank tangled his fingers in Gerard’s stringy hair, but somehow gently.  
“Are we really doing this?” Gerard asked quietly, looking up at Frank.  
“I don’t know, are you really doing this?” Frank asked, in an almost recriminating tone, but with no intent to make him stop.  
“Do you really want me to do this?” Gerard hovered over Frank, and it was beginning to get slightly uncomfortable.  
“Fuck yes,” Frank whispered, grabbing Gerard’s face and pulling it towards his own. He didn’t kiss him, though. Not quite yet. He whispered “fuck yes” once more and then closed the gap between them. Gerard sat back down on top of Frank, his position making it all too easy to tell that Frank did want to do this.  
“Frank,” Gerard said amusedly. Frank asked “what?” and looked at Gerard expectantly. Expecting what? He didn’t know, but it wasn’t what Gerard did do, which is reach down between them and firmly place his palm against what must have been a bulge in Frank’s sweatpants. This sudden motion and contact there caused Frank to make a face and also a noise. The face was alright, it was actually maybe turning Gerard on a bit (more), but the sound was too loud.  
“Shh, sh, shhhh,” Gerard whispered, soon realizing that the best way to shut Frank up was to kiss him. Frank kissed back at first, then stopped to say something.  
“No, no, I won’t make any noise, that was just, I was just surprised,” he stuttered. Gerard smirked and pulled Frank’s pants down with impressive speed, then put his hand back where it was before. Frank only breathed in sharply. Gerard raised his eyebrows. He started to move his hand. Frank just kept breathing weird and bit his lip.  
“Oh, not too bad,” Gerard remarked, surprised by how quiet Frank was demonstrating he could be. Frank whined quietly. Gerard shushed him, but he kept jerking him off, which was slightly contradictory. Frank, whose hands were still in Gerard’s hair, pulled him down by the neck and kissed him. His breath still hitched constantly, but he attempted to cover it up by taking out the extra energy on Gerard’s lips. And hair. He pulled on it really hard, but Gerard didn’t much mind for some reason. He probably bit Gerard’s lip more than a few times as well, but Gerard just pumped him harder. Frank stopped kissing him for a second.  
“Hey, hey- can um can you-“ Frank whispered, but Gerard knew what he meant, partly because of the way he was adjusting his hips.  
“Frankie. Frankie, that’s not gonna feel good, we don’t have anything,” Gerard said, moving his other hand slightly down anyway. Frank gave him this indescribably pleading look, and he couldn’t not at least try. So he held up two fingers and Frank wet them enthusiastically. And “wet them” is the only appropriate phrase, because the way he did it, he swirled his tongue around and made this face, and Gerard didn’t know whether to laugh or just be really turned on. So he did both. He stuck one finger in Frank, just like half an inch. Frank nodded, so he went a little further. Eventually he had both in all the way, and Frank looked like he might chew his lip open.  
“I- I think if you move them, they won’t stay wet,” Frank whispered, pausing, “Okay, just, never mind, just keep-“ Gerard started jerking him off again, which was kind of hard to talk over, so Frank just grabbed Gerard’s shoulder, squeezing it and pulling him back down. There was a little bit of “mmm” through the kiss, but Frank pretty much managed to stay silent as Gerard went faster and harder, the two words that he would normally scream. But he didn’t have to; Gerard was doing it anyway.  
“Oh god,” Frank said, dangerously near full volume. Gerard’s finger was actually still halfway inside Frank, and when Gerard remembered this, he shoved it back inside, searching quickly for Frank’s prostate. Frank was clearly surprised and slightly uncomfortable, but Gerard found it, and that changed immediately. He came quite near moaning.  
“Gee I’m gonna cum I’m gonna cum I’m gonna,” Frank whispered, very, very quietly, and squeezed Gerard’s shoulder even harder. He breathed even louder and even more unevenly. Gerard whispered something in his ear beginning with “god you’re so” but didn’t finish because Frank came. He dug his fingers into Gerard’s shoulder and made this high-pitched, whining sound, but still managed to keep quiet. He relaxed all of his muscles and breathed deep and long. Gerard definitely still had that boner from before, but he distracted himself by getting his shirt to clean off the STAINS.  
“God, my lip nearly bled,” Frank remarked, making Gerard laugh. After a moment, Gerard, still kneeling, placed a hand on Frank’s shoulder and looked nowhere in particular, holding his finger to his lips. There was no sound but the crickets.  
“I heard-“ Gerard began, but stopped, maybe because he had heard it again. Frank listened intently and after a moment, looked at Gerard with a face that demonstrated clearly that he heard it too.  
“If that’s just like sheets shifting, then…” Gerard said worriedly.  
“Whatever, come,” Frank held the top of his sleeping bag open and Gerard gladly lay down next to him. Frank clung onto Gerard like a goddamn koala, which Gerard was fine with, in fact he quite liked it; however, the fucking boner still wasn’t gone so he felt quite tense. Tense because Frank was going to find out. And he did, of course. He had moved his leg right between Gerards’, and he looked up at Gerard, knowing he had noticed that he had noticed.  
“It’s fine,” Gerard whispered.  
“I’m sorry,” Frank whispered back, “Cause like, I’d love to suck you off.”  
“Yeah, trust me, I wouldn’t mind at all but uh I don’t think you should,” Gerard said regretfully, “They can hear I think.” Frank sighed.  
“Can cross a few things off my bucket list,” Frank added after a moment. Gerard laughed and then stopped abruptly.  
“Hold up, WHAT? What can you cross off your bucket list?”  
“I don’t know, getting off in a tent?”  
“Why was that on your bucket list?” Gerard asked, making Frank laugh.  
“Are you tired now?” Gerard asked when Frank curled up to his chest. He did not respond. They fell asleep like that.  
Gerard woke up first to see Frank still lying there, only he was on his back and Frank’s head was on his chest looking way too fucking beautiful. Gerard just looked at him and sighed. He poked his scalp. Didn’t move. He started just sort of running his hand over Frank’s back and down his arm and when he got to his hand, he intertwined his fingers with Frank’s. Frank still didn’t move so he whispered “Frankie.” That also didn’t work. He said it slightly louder. Frank turned his head a bit and groaned. Gerard said “Frankie” once again to make sure he was going to wake up. Frank squeezed Gerard’s hand back. Gerard smiled at that even though Frank couldn’t see him. Frank groaned again and forced his eyes open. Gerard brushed Frank’s hair out of his face. Frank inched himself upwards towards Gerard’s face, whining exaggeratedly. Gerard rolled his eyes but smiled. Frank wet his lips sarcastically seductively and then kissed Gerard. It was lazy and slow and Gerard was actually doing most of the kissing. He was also the one to stop it.  
“Frankie what,” he said in only half-question form.  
“I wanted that to be the first thing I did today. Also I like it when you call me Frankie and you’re really pretty,” Frank mumbled. He was still waking up, but he meant all of the half-thoughts he had said.  
“Thank you,” Gerard laughed.  
“And you’ve got nice arms,” Frank added, “But it’s- I-“ then he groaned and collapsed on Gerard’s chest. Gerard just laughed at him again.  
“Yeah you’ve got nice arms and I don’t know why you’re laughing at me.”  
“Cause you’re being funny. There’s just this way you talk when you’ve just woken up or you’re drunk…”  
“What that I’m in love with you?!” Frank said loudly. Gerard laughed. “Is it just that I’m love with you is what is that what that it…” Frank gave up. Gerard just kept laughing. After a moment, he said “I love you too” and tried to pry Frank off of him. Frank wouldn’t let him. He clung onto him stubbornly. Gerard sighed, still contentedly. He gave up and reached for his phone.  
“Fuck.”  
“What?”  
“It’s only six,” Gerard said, looking at the opening in the zipper where the light came through, just then noticing that it was a bit on the bluish side. Frank let him sit up a bit. They started to get lost in each other’s eyes for just a second before there was a rustling outside.  
“They wouldn’t wake up,” Frank said decisively, “Do you think we woke them up?” Gerard didn’t answer. He raised a finger to his lips and whispered “shhh.” Frank listened and heard the strange nature of the noises that Gerard had been noticing. It sounded like someone walking very slowly, the leaves and twigs crunching under their hiking boots. But it was too slow. And too close. Gerard’s brain did something very strange which resulted in it deciding that he should try to find the Swiss Army knife. Frank looked at him weird, almost slightly amused. Gerard shrugged and mouthed “why not?” before standing up as much as he could inside the tent, which was more of a crouch. The noise he made seemed to attract the thing outside. Frank looked absolutely petrified. Gerard’s hand was on the knife, but it was still on the ground. He began to slowly unzip the tent, which was incredibly loud despite his intentions. Frank saw Gerard’s head disappear through the zipper, then be quickly withdrawn. Gerard turned back to Frank, looking twice as petrified as Frank had.  
“What??” Frank whispered loudly. Gerard hushed him.  
“Literal fucking bear,” Gerard muttered, adjusting his grip on the knife, “Just be quiet and let it pass.”  
“Close the goddamn zip!” Frank gestured frantically.  
“I can’t! It’s too loud!” Gerard whispered. Frank shushed him. They waited. Then, after a moment, there was a growling sound. Then the sniffing. It was like it could smell fear: the more scared they got, the closer they felt it coming. When they heard its nose on the zipper it all became a blur. Frank drew in a short breath. The morning light shined in through the opening of the zipper but the opening was made by a large black dripping nose and it was growling and it was incredibly surreal that this was actually happening but Gerard managed to stay in the moment and keep his grip on the fucking knife that he was lucky enough to have. It blurred even faster now, and the bear was halfway inside the tent before he could summon whatever it took to stab a living thing in the head. And he did. And it made this gurgling noise and collapsed, still only halfway inside the tent. Now there was blood on the goddamn sleeping bag. Gerard was nearly hyperventilating. Frank was just sort of frozen.  
After a moment Frank asked “So uh. Do we call someone now?” Gerard was going to maybe laugh but then he looked back down at the bear carcass.  
“I guess we do. It’s not fun anymore. I don’t know, the park people? Is that who we call?”  
“Wait you think that was fun?” Frank gestured back to the fucking bear carcass. Gerard sighed and laughed nervously.  
“You know what I mean,” he muttered, “Should probably get dressed and do something.” So they did, which was very weird with all the blood on their stuff. They managed, not without discomfort, to get out of the tent. They stood outside of Mikey and Ray’s tent for slightly too long just not knowing what to actually say.  
“We can’t knock,” Frank noted. Gerard scoffed.  
“Yeah, hi, we killed a bear. Wake up,” he joked.  
“What?” Someone said, “What did you do?” And the someone was definitely Ray. Maybe he didn’t hear all of it. He slowly opened the zipper.  
“Is Mikey awake?” Gerard asked. Ray said “one sec” and disappeared. He opened the zipper more and they could all see each other. Mikey and Ray could tell something was wrong because the light wasn’t right.  
“What time is it?” Ray asked.  
“We killed a bear,” Gerard answered.  
“Woah, woah, hey, LISTEN,” Frank cut in, “you killed it I just sat there.” Gerard scoffed again. There was a pause.  
“You killed a bear?” Mikey asked finally. They just nodded. Without talking, Mikey and Ray got out of their tent and walked over to the others’.  
“What the fuck oh my god,” Mikey blurted out, seeing the bear.  
“We didn’t just KILL IT, it came in our tent,” Gerard defended.  
“I think we were very brave,” Frank added.  
“I’m not gonna look at it. I’ll call the park,” Ray went to get his phone.  
“Can I look at it?” Mikey asked once Ray had left. Gerard nodded and beckoned. Mikey peeked inside their tent. He did that eight year old boy laugh, like you’d do if you saw something really gruesome but you actually thought it was cool for some reason. Which seemed be the case.  
“It’s a dead bear,” Gerard stated. Mikey kept staring at it. Eventually some people came and took the bear away and they had a great number of aggravating logistical and legal discussions before the people left. After all that they made breakfast: some terribly scrambled eggs, then Mikey went off to find the public restroom and Ray sat reading on top of the picnic bench. Frank and Gerard did nothing and sat together on the log by the remains of the fire.  
“Hey, remember when we were driving here and I said I’d fight off the bear with my big strong muscles?” Gerard asked quietly. Frank laughed.  
“Yeah, I didn’t say anything.”  
“Do you take it back now? Will you tell me-“ Gerard was interrupted by Frank’s lips on his.  
“Yes,” Frank smiled amusedly, “You’re very strong and handsome.”  
“Well I… That’s all I ever wanted to hear,” Gerard said sort of sarcastically.  
“I love you,” Frank said quietly.  
“I love you too,” Gerard answered immediately, “…No homo though.” Frank laughed so hard he snorted.  
“Oh totally,” Frank nodded, “I think you’re hot but in a straight way. I’m in love with you but not in a gay way at all.” Gerard frowned exaggeratedly.  
“I’m sorry I didn’t mean it I’m very gay,” Frank hugged him and he scoffed. He muttered “so dumb” under his breath but he kind of did genuinely find it funny.  
“Think we should be worried Mikey’s never gonna come back?” Gerard asked when Frank let go of him. Frank shook his head. They agreed he’d probably be fine. He did eventually come back and when they asked him where had actually gone he answered simply that despite various extenuating circumstances, he had ultimately found the bathroom. Ray just kept reading his book. They messed around and did camping things for a couple of hours before beginning to pack up. When they got in the car to drive back, Mikey gave in and let Gerard and Frank sit in the back because they had recently done a slightly traumatizing thing and Ray had already called shotgun so that obviously wasn’t even disputable.  
“Hey, I’m the one who killed it!” Gerard protested when Frank lay down with his head in his lap. Frank molded his face into this extremely stubborn expression and Gerard couldn’t really argue any more. They drove away down the bumpy dirt road with the radio on real quiet. Gerard mindlessly twirled his fingers in Frank’s long, greasy hair. Frank looked up at him and smirked. Gerard realized that he wasn’t conforming to the angry attitude that he had established and quickly withdrew his hands and looked away. Frank laughed and turned on his side.  
“Was it gonna eat you?” Ray asked, breaking a silence that none of them had realized existed.  
“Probably,” Gerard said quietly, questioning the truth to it. But I mean, would it not? Frank laughed at his hesitation.  
“Did it- was it crunchy?” Mikey asked, then quickly realized how strange his question sounded. “I mean the skull, did it make a sound.”  
“Oh it was so crunchy,” Frank answered, not taking it seriously.  
“Well no it made a sound and it was pretty difficult to stab but it was just sort of one fluid movement,” Gerard explained. No one said anything again for a while. Gerard looked down at Frank and noticed a couple of dark spots on his neck. He poked at one of them.  
“Ow!” Frank yelped, recoiling slightly.  
“God,” Gerard said, surprised, “Did that hurt that much?”  
“What the fuck did you do to him,” Mikey said, unable to turn around and look at them because he was the one driving. Gerard was silent for a second.  
“Uh- I, I poked his neck.”  
“Then why the fuck did it hurt so much?” Frank asked, genuinely unaware.  
“You’ve got a bruise,” Gerard muttered. They all of them got it, and Frank scoffed and felt himself blush, although he really didn’t noticeably. Mikey didn’t say anything but Ray snorted under his breath, trying not to laugh.  
“Oh fuck,” Frank touched his neck, “How bad is it?”  
“Not too bad. There’s just a couple and they’re right by your scorpion,” Gerard said reassuringly. Frank mouthed “worth it” and Gerard rolled his eyes. The fucking bucket list thing.  
“Hey- you were attacked by a bear and witnessed its death,” Gerard spoke quietly so only Frank could hear, “Check that off your goddamn bucket list too.”  
“You know, I think I will.”


End file.
